Harken to what I tell you, lads - I’ve not strength to say it twice,
If you’re bent on chasing dragons, pray take ye my advice,
For I was not always a crippled old gray; I was once a young knight like you,
And the minstrels will tell you that, in my day, I slew a dragon or two!
So pass that flagon of brandywine and kick the dogs away,
Release the young maidens now late for their beds, but bid your squires stay,
Fear not, for I shall not bore you all with tales of my glorious past,
But when face to face with a dragon, lads, you’ve got to be thinking fast!
And it’s best to have with you the knowledge you will need to carry the day,
So harken, lads, to this free advice, lest there be a price to pay!
Once deciding upon your dragon, try to learn all that you can –
Know well ahead of your dragon can fly, its length, its breadth and span,
Understanding its nature, its likes and dislikes, its limits as well as its powers,
May be your greatest weapon, boys, in those final bloody hours!
Refrain from taunting a dragon – provide no provocation,
Keeping a noble demeanor may one day become your salvation.
A knight once offered a dragon a curse and was struck down before he spoke it!
A dragon, at best, is a dragon at worst – there’s really no need to provoke it!
And bargaining with these bothersome beasts is never to be suggested,
As the friars at St. Bartholomew’s learned, just before being digested!
But look a dragon in the eyes and dare not look away,
It’s fear that dragon will most despise, and courage it must obey!
And once engaging your deadly foe, neither falter nor hesitate long:
It’s commonly held (as I’m sure you all know) that a dragon’s as fast as he’s strong!
Get right to the heart of the dragon; no dodging nor flailing about,
Just make a good start – make straight for its heart and tear even the roots of it out!
Leave no part of the demon moving; stay well past the time when ‘tis dead,
Be sure of the cure! And I tell you, what’s more, don’t let it live on in your head!
Take no trophy, though it may be tempting to pin back your robes with its tooth,
Carry no part of it off with you; be content just to carry the truth!
Leave others to pick at the bones if they must; leave minstrels to carry the tune –
There’s no need to display that last dead dragon’s head when another may rear itself soon!
I suggest you rest up betwixt dragons, though you younger men feel no such need,
Stay fresh for the fight, store up all your might, and you young men now laughing, take heed!
I admit, once again, that I’m old and I’m gray; that my arms have grown heavy as lead,
But I’ve faced a few dragons and must now point out – I am here, while my dragons are dead!
So harken to take an old knight’s advice, for ‘tis free (like the ale) for the listening,
And it all stands as true as that clear shade of blue seen in virgin’s eyes glistening.
Well, I’ll thank you all now for lending your ears and indulging me in my repast,
